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After an hour of driving with the comforting drone of the worn exhaust cutting through the darkening sky, I carefully pulled into a shopping center parking lot. The lot was a few hundred yards from the abandoned dealership.While I obviously didn’t think this exercise bike, if it existed at all, would have mind control abilities, I still wanted to take extreme precautions before looking for it. I didn’t necessarily trust a random guy on the internet. Especially the part of the internet I was looking at.I pulled out a pair of binoculars and surveyed the rear of the dealership from afar. “The light poles appear to be shot out, so there is no light, at least,” I began mentally checking as I scanned the area. “No people… but that might be a camera on that light pole. I don’t see a bike, though….”Just as I was about to put the binoculars up, I caught a glint of glass from the far corner of the lot. Sure enough, whether by coincidence or not, a rather fancy-looking exercise bike was sitting. " Well, that's too bad. Because that would be great. And let me tell yousomething, Joe: If it meant never having to worry about money again, sure,I'd be a trophy wife. I'd love it."Joe laughed, and I laughed too. We both knew it was just idle talk. Iwasn't gay, and I'd never felt like I should have been born a woman oranything like that. But I was insanely jealous of those women on TV. I didwant that life, even if I would have had to be a woman to have it.Somebody must have heard what I'd said. I don't know if it was somebodynear us at the bar or somebody on a higher plane of existence. But after Idrove the few blocks home to my apartment and passed out in bed, thingsstarted to change.***Consciousness arrived slowly on Saturday morning. Still tasting Fat Tirein my mouth, I rolled over and looked at my alarm clock. Nine o'clock. Ididn't usually sleep that late, but I must have had one too many. Mypiercing headache confirmed that hypothesis. I rolled onto my back andidly stuck one hand.
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